People aren’t born sure of themselves.
They get that way by learning from mistakes and giving themselves a boost when they need one. Self confidence is not something you’re born with. It is something we develop.
Self confidence does not come from succeeding in everything you do. It’s learning to live with mistakes and knowing you have the power to make things better next time.
Here are ten steps to confidence:
1. Set and meet a new goal. Instead of huge, long range goals, set goals you can reach on a regular basis, such as completion of certain tasks ahead of time.
2. Accept compliments. The next time you’re complimented, just smile and say thank you.
3. Surround yourself with supporting people. When you’re than good about yourself, remind yourself of your good qualities and you will always feel better.
4. Don’t compare yourself to others. Take pleasure in who you are, not who you’re not.
5. Become really good at something. Excelling at something, (be sure that it is legal and honest) will make you feel good about yourself.
6. Find a role model. Seeing someone you admire cope with problems similar to yours can give you a big boost.
7. Take care of yourself. Quick! What makes you feel better – throwing on jeans and a t-shirt and rushing out the door, or taking time to put on a nice outfit and fix your hair and makeup? The answer is obvious.
8. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Tell yourself it’s okay if things don’t go as planned, “cause I can handle whatever goes wrong.”
9. Keep learning at every age; it is especially important to keep up on information that relates to your job and family. Being in the know can do wonders for your confidence.
10. Be your own booster. Whenever your confidence laps, it usually is because you’re worried about what other people will think of you. When that happens, remind yourself of all the things you’ve done well.
I have lots on this list that I can work on becoming better at! Simple one’s like accepting compliments, which kind of goes hand in hand with surrounding yourself with supporting people. Support is the greatest form of a compliment.
Being my own booster was a difficult one, but I feel like I am finally becoming more independent and less dependent on someone else to tell me what to do, when to do it and how to do it! I have also been an independent woman buried under the hurt, pain and bitterness of childhood abuse. Which causes SEVERE lack of confidence, especially when you were constantly told thing like “You’re a worthless piece of s@#t.” “You will never amount to anything” and many more. Probably another reason why it is difficult for me to accept compliments too…especially about my work.
I HAVE gotten really good at rolling with the punches of life. I don’t let too much get to me anymore. Yes, I am passionate and get rather vocal at times, but I don’t go all kinds of crazy. And….here is the biggest improvement: I can actually talk openly about my life and all the ups and downs without shedding constant tears or feeling like I am being singled out as some form of punishment! Chalk it up to old age!
Setting goals, something I never did before three years ago, has become a regular part of my life. I set goals for projects, on the farm, at work and even with the “crafty” things I do. Working on small projects that develop into something bigger provides such a great sense of accomplishment! Today, I don’t do much without a to-do list!
The areas where I really lack are: taking care of myself~I mean come on, I work around cows….they don’t care if I wear makeup and would probably poop or pee on my feet if I wore dressy shoes! EWWWWW! But, I do have an idea on that!
I used to dress up for work, take off on my lunch break and be found in a local stream with my skirt tied up gypsy style, sporting a pair of hip waders while my heels lay on the bank!!!!! Oh, the memories! So, in taking that train of thought…maybe I will dress in slacks and a nice sweater but instead of hip waders…Coveralls and a Carhardtt coat! HAHA! NOT a chance! I will gladly stick with my ball cap, hooded sweatshirts and flannel lines jeans along with my grubby barn shoes (which by the way are hand me down sneakers!).
I don’t need to worry about comparing myself with others. No one has the life I want to lead, the hairstyle I want, the jewelry or the car I want to drive. I am content being the unique individual me with many difference talents and ultimate contradictions (like my fetish for girly high heeled shoes I never wear).
The one thing on this list I really wish I did have was a roll model. I have never been the type of girl to ogle over movie stars, singers or other celebrates (although, I do have a HUGE fastination with Josh Duhamel…He reminds me of my dad in his younger years for some reason). I have never really had another person other than my dad that I looked up to. I respected how he treated people and how he acted. I have yet to find someone else that I want to be more like. Maybe that’s just because I have accepted that I walk to a different beat and half the time it’s my own drum!
There you go…my deep thoughts of the week! How to become a better person? To not get down? Wait, I think I got it!