Category Archives: Humor

Muddy Tires, Sore Knees and Baby Chicks

Spring equals mud! Mud makes farm girls happy!
Spring equals mud! Mud makes farm girls happy!

Nothing like starting right out with a photo that can manage to bring a big ol’ happy grin to my face and a twinkle to my eye. I love mud. Spring mud specifically. That greasy, slimy stick to everything kind of mud.

It doesn’t matter if it’s the truck or the four wheeler…I must drive/ride to get “dirty” every spring. It’s my way of saying GOODBYE OLD MAN WINTER! HELL-LO SPRING!

I think that thing that makes it best right now is the simple fact that my knee has been driving me insane over the last week. I think it has something to do with the 5-6 mile walks everyday, chasing loose cattle and sliding down very steep hills. Could just be old age too. Not really sure…all that matters is it gives me an excuse to get muddy! Mud makes me happy!

As the paper lining the box says...Great Expectations
As the paper lining the box says…Great Expectations

Babies make me happy too! Doesn’t matter what variety, two-legged or four. Covered in fur or feathers, doesn’t matter either. This time, we have NINETEEN babies! Little associated, mutt mixed chicken chicks ranging in all sorts of colors and color mixes.

They are so much fun to watch running around, learning how to peck at food and scratch the paper to shreds. The first day is always kind of quiet. It takes a lot out of the chicks to hatch…but they are just too adorable to watch as they run around and just flop down to take a nap.

Of course, all those fluffy feathers make it that much cuter!  Nothing like babies to make a grown woman act like a young child.

Needless to say, I am definitely young at heart….now I think I need to act my age and take a nap. Maybe I can take this little chick with me?!?! Nah…maybe another time!

Napping newborn chick
Napping newborn chick

Escape Artists

After working to get the planting all done on Saturday…we figured that Sunday would be a good day to relax a little. Mr. Farmer slept in until about 9 am or so while I got up and did morning chores.

My morning started right off with issues…not ones that normally happen and I am used to be with calves escaping from their own little paddock area. Two of them (Tommy and Del) knocked the top barrier right down and into the main part of the barn they came! After finishing up milking. I put them back into their own area and fixed the barrier…got their milk feed and boomed…here they come into the large portion of the barn again.

This time I let them run around while I turned the cows out to pasture, let the chickens out and finished all the feeding for everyone. Then I put them back into their paddock and went to sit on the picnic table so they would calm down some. AND oh yes…you did read that right: We have a picnic table in the calf pen. It’s there because we try to spend some extra time with the calves getting them used to us and it always works great for when farm visitors come to spend time with the animals. If I had my choice, each one would be located next to a big old tree…maybe someday!

Now that I had chores done, I went into the house, had my coffee and relaxed until Mr. Farmer rolled out of bed. After that, we delivered the wood splitter to his Uncle’s house and picked up the cattle trailer. It was time to relocate the service bull to their farm to breed their first calf holstein heifers. We came home, backed up to the main gate and went to get him out of his paddock. In the meantime, the calves that are just under a year old decided to bust down the gate and go outside the fence for a fast paced run in 80 degree weather! All three of them were running all over the place kicking up their heels and going as fast as their legs were carry them.

As I was chasing them through the new seeding field of alfalfa…they heard Mr. Farmer rattle the gate and they went shooting down the hill and right into the paddock. UGGGG I was glad they were in but after chasing them up the hill in the heat while wearing jeans, I was not a happy camper!

Needless to say we backed inside the pasture to the next gate that divides the paddocks between young stock and cows. We managed to get the bull up to the trailer and then coaxed him in with a heifer in the side door looking on as he loaded up. Finally! The bull was loaded, the young stock was out roaming with the cows in the rotational pasture and we were on the road. The easiest thing was unloading him. He took off across the tall grass scoping things out and completely ignoring us. Around 3 pm, we dropped the trailer off and headed home.

Since we had relocated the cows and heifers to the new paddock yesterday, Mr. Farmer decided he would mow down the first field so that it wouldn’t over grow. So off he went with the mower while I wandered the fields looking for the perfect moments to capture with my camera. All the girls and the one young steer were all getting along great. Which seemed like a major blessing for us. I managed to finally get Mr. Farmer’s parents up to see the new calf while he was up and running around. Mr. Farmer’s Mom, Kate, who shares a birthday with our Katie-girl (and who Katie is named after) loves the Dexters. So she was thrilled to finally get to see the little bugger, who by the way zips over and under these fences like he is completely immune to the electric jolt he gets when he touches the hot wire…he has calmed down on that now that the bull is gone. Hopefully that means he will start growing and we won’t have to add in another strand of fencing to keep his butt inside the fence!

Mr. Farmer got done mowing around 5 pm and we decided to come into the house, out of the hot sun and relax with a cup of ice water to cool down. I don’t think we sat for more than five minutes when the phone rang. The voice on the other end says, “Feel like coming to chase that bull. He escaped from the pasture and is headed down the road the last time we saw him.” UGGGG….here we go again! Off we go, five miles down the road to chase the bull.

After searching for a 1/2 hour, he was finally found out walking back toward home!!! The lure of a bucket of grain led him back to the heifer barn. Once inside the heifer barn, it took five of us to corner the little bugger to get a collar and lead rope on him. Once we had him fastened up so he couldn’t escape, we started checking the fence (which we were told was working fine) and behold two or three wires that were broke and no power was flowing through the lines. They are going to work on the lines today (Monday) and hopefully get everything all fixed so that he can head back out to pasture and roam with some girls.

By the time we got home, we had to go look up our cows out to pasture and bring them back up to the barns for feeding and milking. Needless to say…by 7 pm I was more than ready to sit down…and for the first time in two years, I had a beer! I am so glad that yesterday isn’t the normal routine. I wouldn’t be able to stand it.

Now that you know the stressful day from yesterday…I will leave with a few photos and the highlights of my day! My tiny little blessing and miracles that occurred during the midst of too much other stuff gone wrong.

So long Arthur…have fun with the girls!
A proud momma and her son
Trees are good scratching posts!
DJ out in the big pasture…already mowed

Mother’s Day

I would like to wish all the Mothers out there a Happy Mother’s Day!

Some of you may not have your own children. But to me, if you own a cat, a dog, a horse, a cow, a hamster, or any other animal….you are a MOM! A surrogate mom! On behalf of your animals or your pets…Thank you for sharing your love!

As for Mother’s day around on the farm…apparently, some of our animals seem to think they should celebrate the day too! Belle, aka MA, decided to go the 1/2 mile to the pond just prior to milking time. She decided that she really wanted to stay and eat the grass in the pasture. It must have been extra good this morning because she made me walk all the way down to get her and then she had to stop to eat with every step she took! Our five minute walk up to the barn for milking turned into 25! The whole time, I kept hearing her internal voice saying “But I want to stay here. I am a MOM and I deserve a break this morning!” Too bad she doesn’t realize she could get sick if she doesn’t get milked out…otherwise I would have left her right there!

Once I got her into the holding area, she stopped by to say hi and give the two youngest calves a good lick along the side of the face. After that, she came into the barn. After getting her milked, I gave her an extra nibble of some wonderful smelling baled hay while I brushed her and washed the mud and poop of her rear quarters. I hate seeing a dirty cow…drives me crazy! With her all cleaned up and brushed down, back into the pasture she went. Whatever she was eating out there must have been like candy to her…She took off on a trot to go right back to where I got her from!!!! She sure is something!

Now if I could just get those Dexters to help me celebrate the day with a couple of new calves…I would be so excited! I am not so patiently awaiting their arrival. The girls are all bagged up, two of them with bags so big they look close to exploding! Their big ol’ bellies roll with the calves movements. The calves more around inside so much that all of them are extremely uncomfortable! Take a look at these bellies!!!!

Very pregnant Dexters trying to get into a position to take a nap

I keep trying to get a video of their rolling bellies as the calves move all around…but haven’t managed so far. I am starting to think that the little ones are camera shy already!

On a personal note, I won’t get to spend the day with my own children today. Which makes me sad…but, for right now, we have to make sacrifices to do what is best for them until some upcoming changes are completed. Until then, I will continue to hold all of my love for them in reserve and when the day comes when I can hold them in my arms, I will give them the biggest hugs ever!

In the meantime, I have to help take care of God’s children. So, I will take in the abused, the sick, the weak and any other ailments that happen, to make their lives better like they will mine. I will give them love and spoil them like so many others won’t. God will bring us together because that is what he put me here to do. I am a mother to many and expect that number to grow as time goes on. I anticipate it, have planned for it and I know that when the time comes when I am needed to help one of God’s creatures…I will be there, giving 110% and 110% of my heart to each and every one of them, big or small!

With that…Thank you again to ALL the Mom’s out there for just sharing the love in your heart!

Perfect Gifts

Well, it’s Christmas Day and the chores are done, breakfast has been served, cheese is in the works and gifts have been exchanged.

I have to admit that Mr. Farmer knows me so well! I refuse to force myself to go get haircuts (I actually cut my own since at one point I was a beautician), so I got a gift certificate to the local hair salon. It will take me a full year before I use the money he put on there! Which excites me!

Secondly, he got me my very first pair of Muck boots! I would rather have had cowgirl boots like the one’s I “save” for good but he was insistant that I needed Mucks! So, now I am the proud owner of a pair! He said I am NOT allowed to wear my slingback sneakers in the barn EVER AGAIN! All the while, pointing and shaking his finger at me!

I love how he slid the “go-be-a-girl” gift in with my “stay-dry-farmer” gift! Like I said, he knows me so well…Just like the package of socks he got me too because he knows I won’t ever by them myself!

After much worry and debate, oh and let’s not forget extremely last minute, gift shopping for Mr. Farmer…his gifts were a HUGE success! I got him a chromed barbed wire license plate holder and a camo steering wheel cover…both of which are already installed on the truck! I also gave him the receipt for his beloved chrome gas cap cover that he has been complaining that he wanted for his decked out girly truck! It is taking forever to come in, but should be here either Monday or Tuesday.

He also got some new gloves, long johns, and heavy winter socks. There is a motive behind that…he needs to help me get some work done and I don’t want to listen to him complain that he is cold. Mind you, most of the time I never wear anything more than flannel lined jeans, regular ol’ white socks, my slip on sneakers (rain, wind, snow or mud I love those shoes), a turtle neck and a hoodie. I do wear gloves, if you could call them that…they are the dollar, stretch variety and really offer very little protection. Mr. Farmer on the other hand looks like the bear he is all dressed in his lined bibs, heavy coat, hat and gloves. Typically with a scarf wrapped up around 1/2 of his face. All dress in black with his eyes and red eyelashes peaking through….all I can think of is a black bear that is sometimes seen around these parts! But, God love him, he tries!

We still have no snow. It’s kind of disappointing…but it isn’t like you can prod Mother Nature into doing something she doesn’t want to do. I am starting to think that Jack Frost and Old Man winter have gone to Texas, instead of her! Or, maybe it’s New Mexico……

Now…I need to get back to finishing up some additional gifts that I will need for the rest of the family by next Saturday! Looking forward to some relax time on the crochet with my hound curled up next to me, the cat curled against the side of my leg, a good movie on tv and yarn zipping through my fingers and around the hook!

Merry Christmas to all. May you all be blessed with love and good fortune!

Need a Confidence Boost?

People aren’t born sure of themselves.

They get that way by learning from mistakes and giving themselves a boost when they need one. Self confidence is not something you’re born with. It is something we develop.

Self confidence does not come from succeeding in everything you do. It’s learning to live with mistakes and knowing you have the power to make things better next time.

Here are ten steps to confidence:

1. Set and meet a new goal. Instead of huge, long range goals, set goals you can reach on a regular basis, such as completion of certain tasks ahead of time.

2. Accept compliments. The next time you’re complimented, just smile and say thank you.

3. Surround yourself with supporting people. When you’re than good about yourself, remind yourself of your good qualities and you will always feel better.

4. Don’t compare yourself to others. Take pleasure in who you are, not who you’re not.

5. Become really good at something. Excelling at something, (be sure that it is legal and honest) will make you feel good about yourself.

6. Find a role model. Seeing someone you admire cope with problems similar to yours can give you a big boost.

7. Take care of yourself. Quick! What makes you feel better – throwing on jeans and a t-shirt and rushing out the door, or taking time to put on a nice outfit and fix your hair and makeup? The answer is obvious.

8. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Tell yourself it’s okay if things don’t go as planned, “cause I can handle whatever goes wrong.”

9. Keep learning at every age; it is especially important to keep up on information that relates to your job and family. Being in the know can do wonders for your confidence.

10. Be your own booster. Whenever your confidence laps, it usually is because you’re worried about what other people will think of you. When that happens, remind yourself of all the things you’ve done well.

I have lots on this list that I can work on becoming better at! Simple one’s like accepting compliments, which kind of goes hand in hand with surrounding yourself with supporting people. Support is the greatest form of a compliment.

Being my own booster was a difficult one, but I feel like I am finally becoming more independent and less dependent on someone else to tell me what to do, when to do it and how to do it! I have also been an independent woman buried under the hurt, pain and bitterness of childhood abuse. Which causes SEVERE lack of confidence, especially when you were constantly told thing like “You’re a worthless piece of s@#t.” “You will never amount to anything” and many more. Probably another reason why it is difficult for me to accept compliments too…especially about my work.

I HAVE gotten really good at rolling with the punches of life. I don’t let too much get to me anymore. Yes, I am passionate and get rather  vocal at times, but I don’t go all kinds of crazy. And….here is the biggest improvement: I can actually talk openly about my life and all the ups and downs without shedding constant tears or feeling like I am being singled out as some form of punishment! Chalk it up to old age!

Setting goals, something I never did before three years ago, has become a regular part of my life. I set goals for projects, on the farm, at work and even with the “crafty” things I do. Working on small projects that develop into something bigger provides such a great sense of accomplishment! Today, I don’t do much without a to-do list!

The areas where I really lack are: taking care of myself~I mean come on, I work around cows….they don’t care if I wear makeup and would probably poop or pee on my feet if I wore dressy shoes! EWWWWW! But, I do have an idea on that!

I used to dress up for work, take off on my lunch break and be found in a local stream with my skirt tied up gypsy style, sporting a pair of hip waders while my heels lay on the bank!!!!! Oh, the memories! So, in taking that train of thought…maybe I will dress in slacks and a nice sweater but instead of hip waders…Coveralls and a Carhardtt coat! HAHA! NOT a chance! I will gladly stick with my ball cap, hooded sweatshirts and flannel lines jeans along with my grubby barn shoes (which by the way are hand me down sneakers!).

I don’t need to worry about comparing myself with others. No one has the life I want to lead, the hairstyle I want, the jewelry or the car I want to drive. I am content being the unique individual me with many difference talents and ultimate contradictions (like my fetish for girly high heeled shoes I never wear).

The one thing on this list I really wish I did have was a roll model. I have never been the type of girl to ogle over movie stars, singers or other celebrates (although, I do have a HUGE fastination with Josh Duhamel…He reminds me of my dad in his younger years for some reason). I have never really had another person other than my dad that I looked up to. I respected how he treated people and how he acted. I have yet to find someone else that I want to be more like. Maybe that’s just because I have accepted that I walk to a different beat and half the time it’s my own drum!

There you go…my deep thoughts of the week! How to become a better person? To not get down? Wait, I think I got it!